1 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:05,701 <i>It seems today that all you see</i> 2 00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:09,035 <i>Is violence in movies and sex on TV</i> 3 00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:12,743 <i>But where are those good old-fashioned values</i> 4 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,610 <i>On which we used to rely?</i> 5 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,880 <i>Lucky there's a family guy</i> 6 00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:22,550 <i>Lucky there's a man who Positively can do</i> 7 00:00:22,655 --> 00:00:24,145 <i>All the things that make us</i> 8 00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:25,884 <i>Laugh and cry</i> 9 00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:30,725 <i>He's a family guy</i> 10 00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:46,109 I must say I do feel a strange satisfaction... 11 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:50,774 watching the black ball topple all those self-righteous white pins. 12 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,715 Can't blame them for being self-righteous. 13 00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:55,014 The black ball's in their neighborhood uninvited. 14 00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:57,988 The black ball's done nothing wrong. 15 00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:01,321 If the black ball's innocent, it has nothing to fear. 16 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,387 Wonder what the hell's down there. 17 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,833 Judd Hirsch? 18 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:10,503 Hey. 19 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:13,595 What's going on? 20 00:01:14,774 --> 00:01:15,968 Nothing. 21 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:17,637 All right. 22 00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,104 Hi, boys. Your ride is here. 23 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:24,206 Hey, you're just in time. Mort's one ball away from a perfect game. 24 00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:26,478 Oh, God. The pressure's too much. 25 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,679 I just lost control of my bladder. 26 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,522 Why didn't I clothespin the end of my penis like Muriel told me to? 27 00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:42,701 Oh, my God. You bowled a perfect game. 28 00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:49,671 I just never stopped believing. Say no to acid. 29 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:52,443 Jeez, relax, Mort. You'd think you were God himself. 30 00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:54,035 No, he's over there. 31 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,545 Hey, you want to see what I can do? All right, ready? Check it out. 32 00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:59,811 Beer, glass. All right, now watch this. 33 00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:02,285 Oh, hey. Guess I'll go over here for a minute. 34 00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:04,114 Oh, holy crap! 35 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:06,351 That's still pouring itself. Oh, wow. That's amazing. 36 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,893 I've never seen anyone do that. You want to go out later? 37 00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,929 I'll be right back. I'm gonna go tinkle. 38 00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:13,521 Okay, everybody ready? Hey, where's Quagmire? 39 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:40,954 Would you just sit down and go to the bathroom already? 40 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,160 <i>A scandal at the Quahog Bowling Alley tonight...</i> 41 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,130 <i>where a local man, Glenn Quagmire...</i> 42 00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,167 <i>was charged with peeping in the ladies'room.</i> 43 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:50,998 <i>Coming up, Diane's weight.</i> 44 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:55,935 He's all yours, Joe. 45 00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:58,272 You're lucky I've got some extra pull around here... 46 00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,778 thanks to my 18 medals for heroism. 47 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,609 There he goes again with the medals. 48 00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:06,014 Hey, Joe, if you love your medals so much, why don't you marry them? 49 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,780 I did something like that once. 50 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,445 And in the event of your death... 51 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:12,184 you'd like the insurance policy to be paid to your wife? 52 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:13,418 Yup. 53 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,926 And your wife is this piece of pie? 54 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,657 You got it. Love you. 55 00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:20,595 Okay, sign here. 56 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,533 You know what? You can probably go ahead and cancel that. 57 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,867 Well, well, look who's here. 58 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:31,535 All right, all right, look, I know an apology is due here... 59 00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:35,205 so, Lois, tell Quagmire you're sorry you had him arrested. 60 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,648 Excuse me? He's the one who owes me an apology. 61 00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:40,514 He was watching me go to the bathroom. 62 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,885 Well, clearly he thinks you're attractive, Lois. It's a positive thing. 63 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,788 Thank you, Glenn, for complimenting our family. 64 00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:49,224 We have had it with his disrespect for women. 65 00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:52,389 We're petitioning the city to have him removed from the neighborhood. 66 00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:55,934 Yeah, I don't want to bring a new baby into the world with him running around. 67 00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:59,129 First of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for six years, all right? 68 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,467 Either have the baby or don't. 69 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,770 Second of all, Quagmire's a good guy. He's just a little mixed up. 70 00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:12,308 - This isn't medium rare. - Then have them take it back. 71 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:33,418 Sorry about that. 72 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,962 Second of all, Quagmire's a good guy, you know? He's just a little mixed up. 73 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,930 That's all. Come on. Give him another chance, eh? 74 00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:43,126 All right. But one more incident like the one at the bowling alley... 75 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,067 and Quagmire is out of this neighborhood. 76 00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,271 Now, don't worry about a thing, Quagmire. 77 00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:52,435 Your pals are gonna help you change your ways. 78 00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:55,013 I don't know, Peter. I'm not sure I can do this. 79 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,076 Meg, get out of the way. 80 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:08,988 All right, Glenn. This exercise should help teach you self-control. 81 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,628 <i>Here's this month's Victoria's Secret catalog.</i> 82 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:17,794 Oh, God. Oh, God. Dead kittens. Dead kittens. 83 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:20,065 Old nuns. Really old nuns. 84 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,164 Renee Zellweger. Oh, there we go. 85 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,240 - All right. - You did good. Good. 86 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,474 Peter, are you sure Quagmire is ready to be out in public? 87 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:31,880 Nothing to worry about, Lois. 88 00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,418 We figured out a foolproof rehabilitation method. 89 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,887 I got the idea from when Brian had to wear that cone after his operation. 90 00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:40,481 Okay, if I make this, we're all gonna get laid. 91 00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,891 Yes! Score! Score! 92 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,556 Boy, I'd really like to chew on my crotch right now. 93 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:49,530 Okay, Quagmire. Time to take off your training wheels. 94 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:51,969 Okay, I think I'm ready. 95 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:58,936 Oh, boy. 96 00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,172 - What's the matter, Glenn? - Nothing. 97 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:06,175 Oh, Stacie, you dropped your pompom in the water. 98 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:07,980 - I'll get it for you. - I'll come with you. 99 00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:09,349 - Me, too. - But wait a minute. 100 00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:12,720 We don't want to get our sweaters all wet. Better take them off. 101 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,088 Splash fight! 102 00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:25,365 Oh, God. Oh, God. I need some air. 103 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:31,900 Naked plastic chicks. 104 00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,287 - Where am I? Am I dead? - No. 105 00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:48,224 This is where we monitor all the dressing rooms in the mall... 106 00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:50,022 so we can keep an eye out for shoplifters. 107 00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:51,357 You don't say. 108 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,058 Oh, my God! That one's having a heart attack! 109 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,340 - That was amazing. - You saved her life. 110 00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:11,177 Thank God you know CPR. 111 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,876 What the hell's CPR? 112 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:17,654 Congratulations, Quagmire. 113 00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,317 You're the newest member of my wall of fame. 114 00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:21,620 What's wrong, Peter? 115 00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:24,560 It's nothing, Joe. I don't know. 116 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:27,132 It's just that all you guys have something to be proud of. 117 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,691 Quagmire got a key to the city. Mort bowled a perfect game. 118 00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,862 You're always getting medals for catching crooks. 119 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:35,440 Hell, even Cleveland used to be an accomplished auctioneer. 120 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:39,375 I have 125. Do I hear 130? $130,000 for this authentic Comanche headdress? 121 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:42,777 I got 130. Do I hear 135? 140? Do I hear... 122 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,314 135, going once. 123 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,316 I'm the only one here who's got nothing, you know? 124 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,483 If I die tomorrow, there's nothing people would remember me for. 125 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:58,053 Not if you jumped off a skyscraper and landed on Joan Cusack. 126 00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:03,060 People would say, "Hey, remember that guy who landed on Joan Cusack?" 127 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,034 Well, things are gonna change. 128 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:08,538 From this day forth, people are gonna know the name Peter Griffin... 129 00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,632 even if I have to shout it from the rooftops. 130 00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:13,105 You hear that, world? 131 00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:16,340 I am gonna do something that people will remember me for. 132 00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:22,217 Oh, God! Sorry, sorry. Hey, Joan Cusack. 133 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,482 Hello? 134 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:26,692 Oh-oh. 135 00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:44,334 Peter, if you'd just let me talk, I'll explain to you why you shouldn't do this. 136 00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:47,412 Later, Brian. I gotta do something people will remember me for... 137 00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:51,040 which is why I've invented a new type of flying machine. 138 00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:53,947 You know, I vaguely recall seeing footage somewhere... 139 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:58,786 of something exactly like this that leads me to believe this probably won't work. 140 00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:00,687 All right, Stewie. Let her rip. 141 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:05,831 All right... 142 00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:09,799 we attack the Rice Krispie guys at dawn, assuming Judd Hirsch delivers the goods. 143 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:15,337 Brian, this time, I think I got just the thing people will remember me for. 144 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:18,899 I am gonna stop pollution with my new lovable character... 145 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,206 Gary the No-Trash Cougar. 146 00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:28,012 Pick up your trash! I want to know whose cup this is. 147 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:31,279 I said I want to know whose cup this is! 148 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,891 Pick it up! 149 00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:36,721 Thank you, sweetie. 150 00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:39,855 See what a nicer place this is when we all pitch in? 151 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,999 Like Gary the No-Trash Cougar says: 152 00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:45,366 "Give a larbage, throw out your garbage. " 153 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:46,597 Spread the word. 154 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,004 Those freaking elves, man. They just came out of the trees, man. 155 00:11:57,116 --> 00:12:00,279 - They just came out of the trees. - You saved my ass back there. 156 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,648 You saved mine. 157 00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:05,148 - Here's to Snap. - To Snap. 158 00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,320 This sucks. 159 00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:10,054 I've been working on this all week and I keep coming up dry. 160 00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:13,131 Who am I kidding? I'm never gonna be remembered for anything. 161 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,700 Not like my great-great-uncles, the Siamese twins... 162 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,564 who fought each other in the Civil War. 163 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,434 - I'm seceding. - Like hell you are. 164 00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:24,403 Not too smart, huh? 165 00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,705 Yeah, did not think that one through. 166 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:30,515 Peter, you have to stop comparing yourself to other people... 167 00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,608 and find out what's special about you. 168 00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:36,415 <i>In sadder news, the man who held the Guinness World Record...</i> 169 00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:40,288 <i>for most drugs ever done by a single human being died today.</i> 170 00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:44,190 <i>He was attacked by a pack of wild dogs he thought he saw.</i> 171 00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:47,589 There you go, Peter. You could break a world record. 172 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,895 What, are you nuts? I got no special talents. 173 00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:51,867 What can I do that nobody else does? 174 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,438 Well, you just ate my tip. 175 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,238 I got it! 176 00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:05,781 Peter, you're really putting away those Mentos. 177 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:07,546 These aren't Mentos, Lois. 178 00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:11,612 Everybody, you're looking at a guy who's gonna set a new world record. 179 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:16,423 I am gonna eat more nickels than anyone has ever eaten before. 180 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,724 Setting this world record is gonna make me famous... 181 00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,299 just like the world's fattest twins over there. 182 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:25,400 - Did I tell you that I'm doing Atkins? - Oh, that's not good for you. 183 00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:33,609 - Dad, I just don't hear it. - Come on! 184 00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:35,009 Really, Peter. It just doesn't... 185 00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:37,412 <i>You're telling me that doesn't sound like Camptown Races?</i> 186 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:38,744 Not one bit. 187 00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,547 <i>Do Short People!</i> 188 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,680 This is the worst use of money since I tricked out my big wheel. 189 00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:56,657 Hey, ladies, check out this ride. Yeah. 190 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:59,533 I'm off to make trouble for the establishment. 191 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,705 I love you, Lois. 192 00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:08,906 I love you, too, Peter. Even if you are full of nickels. 193 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:24,223 Goodnight, honey. 194 00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:36,397 Oh, my God, Lois. I can't see. 195 00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:41,241 How about now? No, nothing. 196 00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,042 Well, that makes me feel much better. 197 00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:44,740 You can't see the spaceship, either. 198 00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:47,375 My cousin Marshall insists if you look past the picture... 199 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:48,680 you can see a spaceship. 200 00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:50,880 Can you please just tell us what's wrong with my husband? 201 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:54,721 Oh, yes. You see, after ingesting such a large number of metal coins... 202 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:57,489 Mr. Griffin appears to have succumbed to nickel poisoning... 203 00:14:57,596 --> 00:14:58,893 causing him to lose his sight. 204 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:01,990 Oh, my God, Lois. I'm blind as a bat. I can't see a damn thing. 205 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:04,399 You know what else you can't see? The writing on the wall. 206 00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:06,937 Vaudeville's dead. And TV's the box they're gonna bury it in. 207 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:09,405 Back then, everybody had a specialty. I, for one, am a tumbler. 208 00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:11,408 Watch me leap through this big hoop. 209 00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:13,269 Vamp! Vamp! 210 00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:25,018 So we're all gonna have to pitch in and help your father out... 211 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,557 now that he's lost his sight. 212 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,058 Nobody took care of me when I lost my arms and legs... 213 00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:30,594 and was struck blind, deaf, and dumb. 214 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:34,425 <i>Hey, Meg, they got a Happy Days spoof in here...</i> 215 00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,262 <i>but they call it Crappy Days.</i> 216 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,296 All right, you know what? 217 00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,897 If you're not gonna laugh, then I'm not gonna keep you company. 218 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:46,808 This sucks. Now the only thing anybody's gonna remember me for after I die... 219 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,743 is being that blind guy. 220 00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:50,041 Don't give up yet, Peter. 221 00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,709 I mean, many blind people live rich, fulfilling lives. 222 00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:56,219 I don't know, Brian. I mean, I guess I can give it a shot. 223 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:01,456 Oh, my God, I almost didn't do it. I almost didn't do it. 224 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,152 I thought, "Is this in bad taste?" 225 00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:04,752 But you know what? I went for it. 226 00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:06,854 I went for it and I am so glad I did. 227 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,762 Oh, worth it. Totally worth it. 228 00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:25,415 - Hey, you still awake, Lois, honey? - Dad? 229 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,781 That's right. I'm your daddy. 230 00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,651 Don't talk, Lois. Don't talk. 231 00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:34,089 Just let me do all the work. Yeah. 232 00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:37,319 Now feel my warm breath on the nape of your neck. 233 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:42,466 My hands on your big soft boobs running down your big manlike... 234 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,058 Holy crap, it's Chris. 235 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:47,839 So, how're you doing? 236 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:52,641 You do all your homework? Finish all your subjects? 237 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,076 - Yes, sir. - Good. 238 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:57,444 Just checking. Have a good night, Son. 239 00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,552 You still awake, honey? What the deuce? 240 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,190 - Peter, what the hell is that? - This is my Seeing Eye dog, Brutus. 241 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:11,785 What do you need a Seeing Eye dog for? 242 00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:15,196 Well, because I can't do anything for myself, Brian. I can't drive. 243 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,790 I don't know when to cross the street. 244 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:18,699 And I took a dump in the church confessional... 245 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,999 which I guess they frown upon if you're not homeless. 246 00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,472 I thought I could deal with being blind at first. 247 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:24,667 But I don't know. 248 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,712 I haven't felt this out of place since that week I lived with Superman. 249 00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:34,275 We must stop Lex Luthor before he irradiates the world's supply of gold. 250 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,878 Hi, sorry. I know you got a meeting going on. But... 251 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:42,926 So we are officially running low on Mr. Pibb and Cheez-Its. 252 00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:45,519 So just putting it out there. 253 00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:48,065 If you're heading to the store later... 254 00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:52,365 you know, 800-mile drive for me, like, five seconds for you. 255 00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:53,802 Whatever. I'm not here. 256 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,999 Peter, this is something you're still adjusting to. 257 00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:57,871 You can't expect to get used to it overnight. 258 00:17:57,976 --> 00:18:00,206 Whatever you say, Brian. I'm going to The Clam. 259 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,279 Did Peter leave? 260 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:05,646 Yeah. Boy, he's really down about this. 261 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:08,548 I know. I'm so worried about him. 262 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:11,589 I've been looking into support groups we could join to help him. 263 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,151 - Are you not wearing makeup? - No, I just... 264 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,818 You know, since Peter went blind... 265 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,421 it's actually been kind of nice not to have to worry about my appearance. 266 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:21,794 I see. 267 00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:23,828 Is it really noticeable? 268 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:27,298 Well, a little mascara wouldn't kill you. 269 00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:30,339 I was kind of thinking I'd try an au naturel thing. 270 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:34,335 You think you have the skin for that? 271 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,209 Oh, let me light that for you, babe. 272 00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:44,188 - Wow! - Yeah, magic fingers. 273 00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:48,158 - Jesus Christ! - What? 274 00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:49,955 Get the Escalade. We're out of here. 275 00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,608 Come on, girl. I'm thirsty. 276 00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:09,113 All right, you don't want to come in? Fine. I'll just tie you to this parking meter. 277 00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:18,317 Hey, Horace. 278 00:19:18,423 --> 00:19:19,981 I'll have a Pawtucket Patriot. 279 00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:22,891 So how's your hammer hanging? 280 00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:25,920 Is somebody smoking in here? 281 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,458 <i>Hey, you ever watch that show Scrubs?</i> 282 00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:33,697 Lois had it on the other night and I was kind of fading in and out. 283 00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:38,401 But, you know, I was watching and I'm wondering, which one is the funny guy? 284 00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:41,109 Peter, grab my hand! 285 00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:43,681 - Jeez, Horace, you been drinking? - Grab it and pull! 286 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:47,351 Come on, let's go. 287 00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,524 And here comes the heroic blind man. 288 00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,593 Tell us, sir, how did you summon the courage to save your friend... 289 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:58,458 - from that burning building? - That freaking place was on fire? 290 00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:01,692 And there you have it. Coming up next, watch me shave. 291 00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,261 Peter, you're all right! 292 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:08,134 I am so proud of you for saving Horace's life. 293 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,798 Yeah, Peter, you were amazing. 294 00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:14,205 You know, Brian, I guess I was. And you know what else? 295 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,609 People are gonna remember me for this.